Planet of the Fat Apes!

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Pretty soon, obesely fat people will start fighting for their equal rights. They want their fair share of the pie! They deserve to have XXXXXX large clothing available to them at American Apparel too! Fortunately, for them, the scale is already in their favor.

“Equality for ALL” is a “slippery slope.” It’s actually more like a rainbow-colored-Twinkie-flavored-cream-filled-bacon-wrapped-slip-n-slide. “Absolute freedom of the individual” is the dictionary definition of “Anarchy.”

NEW LAWS:

IF YOU ARE OBESE, you’re food stamps will be taken away!

If you earn, and spend more than a healthy amount of money on food each month, 80% of that food will be sent to starving children.

If you are obese and take pictures of yourself in a skinny bikini, you will be sent to Papau New Guinea posthaste!

Planet of the Fat Apes!